“Try one of these techniques if you want better service in restaurants:

“1. Become very famous;

“2. Spend $1,000 or more on wine every time you go out;

“3. Keep going to the same restaurant until you get V.I.P. treatment; if that doesn’t work, pick another place.

“Now, here is a technique that is guaranteed to have no effect on your service: leave a generous tip.”